Have you ever thought about your life and wrote down all the things you thought were mistakes?

I did that without thinking about it, and i filled 5 pages back and front even though i’m only 16. It seems like everything is my fault. I don’t understand why though.

I went to go and see Fran and i was talking to her about my mum because they have stopped talking. She started talking about spirits and dreams and i told her about my dream i had.

DREAM..

Me and George was in a room. He looked was my age. We were talking about everything that had been going on in life and we were laughing and having fun talking about life. He had tracksuit bottoms on and a henleys top. I felt like we were one person having a laugh and thinking alike. I thought to myslef ‘this is how it was supposed to be’. I was scared to loose the memory. All of a sudden the lights went off. It was pitch black. I rushed to look for the light, when i found it, i turned it on and George had gone.

I woke up crying and i realised it was really happening in my head, i felt like he was trying to give me a message, asif there is something he wanted to tell me.

.. Before i got kicked out, i would wake up in the middle of the night and see white dots around me and this man would be stood with an axe tryin to chop me but he could never get past these white dots. It is like the white dots are my gardian angels. I would hear something in my head saying ‘calm down’. I think this guy is following me because i see him at Roxy’s house aswell. It’s scary.

I think i’m too scared to do anything anymore. I feel like its time to give up because i have nothing left in life to live for. It is like i have to give up now. I can’t think about how happy i am at the moment because of my mum. My dad i can live without but im on the forth week without my mum.

My Mum..

My mum is one of the best people i have ever met. She sticks up with anything. I don’t see why she hasn’t left yet. My dad has brainwashed her and she doesn’t listen to anyone anymore. It is unfair on us kids. I don’t live there anymore but i mean when i was at home and my mum and dad would argue, I would sit there and talk to my little sisters on Charlottes bed to make sure that they don’t hear anything they say. I feel like i’m letting them down by not being there. I feel like i can’t live without them anymore. THIS ISN’T FAIR !!

I think its time to talk to her. If i don’t then i’m going to have to do something about HIM!.